There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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