Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
