Acid is not a monday night drug
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
