Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
