Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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