You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
So vagazzling was a success
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
