i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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