508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Barsexuality is the new black.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You need a sexual gate keeper
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
