ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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