Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
