Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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