before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
