I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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