question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
