Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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