was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
we're so committed to being not committed
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
