I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
