I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
