okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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