I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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