Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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