Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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