I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
