We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
