Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
