New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
