I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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