I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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