He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
