Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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