I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize