What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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