Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Randomize
