we have pet lesbian snakes
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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