does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
