we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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