Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
