Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
