id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize