She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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