glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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