Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Randomize
