The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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