I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
