Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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