you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
