Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize