Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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