Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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