pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
