hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
