it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
