i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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