Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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