my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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