Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
