I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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