I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Where is the hickey?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
