I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
