At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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