My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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