my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
