think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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