Soap is not a condiment
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
