hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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