I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
